So you want to be CEO?
It’s easy to be the rah-rah guy. Many of my blog posts and speeches are of the rah-rah variety. “You can do it!” “Anything is possible!” “Break the rules – invent your own.” – that kind of thing. Most entrepreneurs cum bloggers/writers are, so I must too. Of course there is a big appetite for this kind of motivation and it is fun. Fun, though, is not always the name of the game.
I sit here at 5:13am after four hours of fractured sleep and I can’t help but review all the dizzying events that happened these past few days. Days of mistakes, SNAFUs, miscommunications and delays have increased stress levels and anger and employees are tired and frustrated. There is blame, pointed fingers, and contempt.
As CEO there is nowhere to run from these venting outbursts. I am the go-to (or the obviously ignored) by all parties. Years of these conversations have taught me there are two sides to every story and I need to do my best to listen without judgment. This is easier to say than to do as I have relationships with all team members and there are costs and consequences associated with these events. It is my job to have everybody experience being heard. This week I was not so successful.
Throw in a feverish wife and the post-work wrangling of children and yesterday was a tough one. With all parties in bed by 8:30pm, I needed that outlet. That venting. That rant. That outburst. But that’s not how it always works out. This one I get to work out on my own.
Inevitably the question of ‘why?’ comes up. Why exactly am I doing this to myself? Is it really worth it? Can I just quit and run away? Of course I can’t. I am a stand for something bigger, better, and worthier for my family, friends, co-workers, and society. I accepted this responsibility and so must work through it. I will have days and nights like this once in a while. And I will be better for it.
So you want to be CEO? Understand that on some days, and many nights, it is the loneliest job in the world.
Written by: Darrell Kopke, Skool Principal
Darrell, it’s refreshing to hear more of my fellow CEOs convey the unvarnished reality of running a fledgling startup. Too many people glorify the experience.. usually a good sign we’re in a bubble of sorts.
Resiliency in these situations comes from a sense of purpose, of obligation, and from courage. The latter attribute increases each time you fight through a challenge, regardless of whether or not you surmount it.
I feel your pain - a lot. That feeling you describe is why I took up karate, and then resistance training. Before I found these 2 outlets, the emotions expressed almost ate me alive. I can remember thinking to myself, “I can’t take it out on my employees, I can’t take it out on my subcontractors or vendors, I can’t take it out on my clients, I definitely can’t take it out on my husband or kids. So what do I do with this?”
The dojo and gym floor became my solution and it still works 9 yrs later.
The highs are so high. The lows are so low. But, this I know. Even if I did quit and go to work for someone else, it would only be a matter of time before I was right back in that position of responsibility - without the freedom and authority to do anything to change things.
So, I will take the responsibility, the authority and the freedom.
And knowing that there is at least one other person out there that feels the same way makes it not so lonely.
Keep on keeping on - onward and upward!
IF there is no grit the stone can’t get shiny. This is the grit in the mill and it is necessary. Being with the angst, pain, embarrassment and disappointment without blame can be healing and centering. That usually can’t happen until after you have experienced and suffered through the above mentioned emotions.
Being with and might I add that ever important but often overlooked ounce of humor and assurance that you are human and so are they.
I find forgiving myself a lot helps, then apologizing to everyone. Take on what is yours to transform and encourage others to take on what is theirs. It is not ALL up to you.
Thanks for your comments Linda and Ian.
Resilience is a key word. Without venting and going through the anguish of failure — and surviving — one cannot learn to cope through tough times.
I appreciate your advice and thank you for sharing.
DK
Hi Darrell: lunch was great the other day, Thank you.
This subject matter is so on point with where I am.. It is a lonely and strange place to be at times. Intellectual intelligence and understanding is part of the equation for success but having and maintaining the emotional intelligence under certain circumstances seems beyond reach. Inspiring c.e.o
“zen glenn” becomes attilla the .hunn . I find it relieving that i may not be alone. Thanks Darrell. Love what you are doing. Glenn